Battlefield…

I was born with a brain just like yours,
It ran the same way from the start. 
Until it realised we weren’t safe,
And a battlefield tore us apart. 

The fists and the cruelty rained down,
With no way to run from the zone. 
My brain hit the switch to go numb,
And left me like hollowed out stone. 

A blast shield was slammed over my heart,
To block out the terror and dread. 
It detached my own mind from the room,
And left a cold phantom instead. 

A relaxed baseline means you get killed,
So peace was erased from the grid. 
My brain set the dial to high alert,
To guard against all that they did. 

The emotional fuses will blow,
Into blinding terror or rage. 
It reacts before threats even land,
A tiger locked tight in a cage. 

The complexity stripped right away,
To choices of black or white. 
No grey zones, just hazard or safe,
No thinking, just impulse and fight. 

To stand out was being a target,
So my brain erased all of my lines. 
A chameleon hiding in view,
Adopting their traits and designs. 

I mirror the shape of your face,
And become what you want me to be. 
A camouflage built for survival,
So you won’t abandon poor me. 

Connection was taught to be lethal,
By the adults who caused all the pain. 
So I strike and I push you away first,
To control what is left of my brain. 

I couldn’t fight back against giants,
Defending myself wouldn’t win. 
So the fury was twisted around,
And forced back inside of my skin. 

The artillery fired inward now,
Using physical pain as a chain. 
To ground me back into reality,
And silence the screaming brain. 

Vulnerability leaves you exposed,
In a war zone where weakness is death. 
So the factory setting is rage,
Defending my very last breath. 

A suit of impenetrable armour,
A shield built of pure, blinding fire. 
To keep the grid high and bared teeth,
As the smoke rises higher and higher.